Make An Effort

As I have reclaimed my life, I noticed that I never really stayed in touch with my friends anymore.  I waited for them to contact me and when they didn't I felt even more unworthy.  I don't know how I managed to bury myself so far in my own doubt and misery that I felt it was totally up to them to keep in contact with me.  I've always been a very social person.  I love talking to people, going places, meeting new people and having get togethers at my house.  I didn't even realize that I had shut everyone out of my life until I was struggling to begin the me initiative.


It is so much harder to uncover you when you don't have a solid support system.  Especially when it is your own fault as a product of your hiding from the world.  In the effort to protect myself from further emotional injury I gave myself the worst kind of injury.  I left myself with no one to go to for aid in finding me.  No one knew the real me anymore, I didn't even know my true self either.  Thank goodness for Cathy, Stacey, Allison, my daughters, Leesa, and a few others who never gave up on me.


Now I make an effort to connect with my friends.  Every Monday I send a "Happy Monday" message to a group of people whom I don't want to lose touch with.  I also send a "Sydney was here!" message at random times when I'm thinking of them.  There is no pressure for them to respond, but they know they were on my mind.


I have rediscovered that it is not up to other to make me happy, it is up to me.  Everything I do has to make me feel happy and leave me with the ability to sleep at night.


Don't lose your friends and support system because you are hiding from the world.  You will never be happy.


No matter what, Make The Effort!