Like Beget Like

I'm sure we have all heard "like beget like" at some time in our lives.  And, like me, you probably thought to yourself, yeah right.  As I have traveled my path on the "Me Initiative" I have found this to be very true.



It is very easy, now, to see the toxic environment I allowed myself to remain in for so very long.  When I was at my worst, I surrounded myself with "friends" who were:  a Chronic Complainer (nothing anyone did was good enough for her, even if it was what she said she wanted), a Pessimist (the world was always coming to an end and everyone was out to get her), a Deflector (nothing was ever her fault, she took no personal ownership in anything that happened around her), and a Realist (she calls it like she sees it, no matter what).  It's no wonder I felt like I needed my armor.  Just the thought of being in the same room with most of them would make my neck get tight and bring on a tension headache.


One of my favorite co-workers really freed me to separate myself from almost all of them and to look inside myself to see what I needed to thrive.  When I asked how she handled dealing with the boss who seemed to hate me and threated my job daily, she gave me some of the best advice I have ever gotten.  She told me that I couldn't control our boss or what she did, I could only control my reaction to it.  It seems fairly simple right?  Only it's not.  It is just another reason that you have to look deep within yourself and see the real you.  I'm not going to say it's been easy, but now, when I feel the tension building and myself getting caught in the uproar, I make myself look internally to see if I really have cause to be upset.  Will my world end if I take up the banner like everyone else or is okay for me to sit back and go with the flow?

This happened at a restaurant once.  I was ordering for my daughter and myself and I clearly stated that I wanted two orders of French fries, I then paid and sat down.  When I got to the table, I saw my receipt said two orders of Kabuli Rice.  My friend said I should go back and complain.  I told her no, that it was not that important to me.  I then told her about my co-worker and that I would wait to see what came out.  When the rice came it was the best meal ever, my friend actually ended up eating a full portion herself.  She asked me how I knew to wait and I said that sometimes God just wants you to have Kabuli Rice.  Unless it came with some kind of tree nut or peanut in it, I was not going to perish from trying something new.  And why should I make the employee miserable when I didn't care either way?

I use this philosophy in my everyday life now.  If I get behind a slow car, I figure it just means I need to slow down.  My outlook on life is so much healthier now and it has helped me to pick people who are healthy for me to hang out with.  I haven't completely dropped my other friends, but I do limit my exposure to them.  When they start getting toxic, I take a step back now instead of getting drawn into the madness.

Now I surround myself with friends who are:  Always happy (I don't think the smile ever goes away), Caring and Helpful to Others (I don't think she has room for one more volunteer activity), Enjoys Going Out (we are on a constant adventure with our daughters whenever we are together), Forward Thinking (she always has a new goal to achieve and pushes me to make and reach my own), Family Oriented (she enjoys being with the family who matters to her, even when there is a big time between visits), and of course the Realist (you always need that friend who makes you see yourself as you really are and can talk you down from the ledge).  With this group of women I feel like I am no longer alone.  When times get tough and I am in the middle of a setback, I have plenty of life lines to reach out to and I always have support. 

Who do you surround yourself with?
Are they people who make you thrive?